怎样走出框框？

沉静了一段日子，我又回来了。
脑子近来很空洞，酝酿不出适当的情绪来抒写博文。

前一阵子不断以英语写作。
现在又要以华语发表文章了。
这几天我都在忙着帮妈妈缝制手工物品。
眼见白线都快被用尽了，我的作品还未交出来。
许多小珠子混淆在一起，究竟哪个是紫色还是粉红色早已分不清楚了。
沉浸在珠子的世界里......


今赛的成绩终于出炉了，身边的人个个榜上有名，自己当然也不例外。
不过却没有进步。
去年获得优秀奖，今年又夺回一样的奖项。
对自己失望之极。伤感，涌遍全身。
恭喜姐姐，她的诗歌在今年的全国华文创作比赛中得奖了。
恭喜纯嘉，首次参赛作文便得到评审的青睐，获得了特优奖。
羡慕之情油然而生。

老师常说写作时，

You must think out of the box.

我却依旧困在被限制的框框里，走不出来。

有谁能告诉我，如何走出那个死板的框子？

爱

曾几何时

我喜欢上了他

但

却只能远远地望着他

默默地守护他

为他付出

我没向他说出口

就只因为

爱一个人

需要

勇气

忽略

另一年的雨季。
外面下着滂沱大雨，刺骨的寒风迎面拂来，我不禁浑身颤抖了起来。
阔别了一个星期，我又回到校园去。
回去看看老朋友，叙旧叙旧以下。
今天没有周会。
全校沉浸在考试的气氛中。
课室被搁着了，孤零零的空无一人。

雨天，让我触景生情。


霎时，我才发现到这阵子，我忽略了很多身旁美好的事物。
在这之前，紧迫和繁忙的生活节奏使我枯燥乏味的度过我每一天的日子。
和考试战斗了十个月，累了，也终于有机会休息了。
休息时静观静物，原来它们是可以很美丽的。

豆大般的雨点落在新家的屋顶上发出嘀嗒嘀嗒响。悦耳动听。
伸出双手触摸雨点，想抓住它却抓不住，让它溜走了。
大缸里装满了从屋顶落下来的雨水，清澈见底，差点就溢了出来。
妈妈曾说过，雨水是世上最干净的水。

原来新家后面的那片树林在雨天煞是好看。
古木参天，绿叶成荫，空气清新。
这是大自然的绚烂。这也是我不曾发掘过的美。

文字。
文字的奥妙在于单字可代表着不同的意思，单字亦可和另一个单字结合起来变成一个词语，意义有转变了。
一个句子是有许多不一样的词语结合起来的。
我忽略了很多美丽的文字。
以前读书总爱匆匆带过，从不会深层地去了解其中的寓意。
仔细地去阅读，原来它们如此的优美。
有时候，复杂的文字并不意味着作者的心深不可测，难以捉摸；有时候，简单的文字也并不意味着作者的思想肤浅，文章写得索然无趣。
看待一件事物，须两面并用，时而以正面，时而以反面。
一样的道理，只是用在不同之处。

一种学问,初学起来,是那样深奥,那样枯燥,可是一钻了进去,就觉得趣味无穷。——吴运铎《把一切献给党》

十月的末日，我在雨中度过。
它将离去，心中无限缱绻。

毅然发现到， 我忽略了很多稀稀疏疏的事物。
此情似曾相似，不知在何时曾经历过？

2010年10月31日，我把这篇文章献给你。

*雨过天晴，雨后就会有彩虹。

What colour is your soul?

Lynn got White- The Peaceful Soul.

Peace is the most important thing to you, and you are quietly independent. You need to feel good about yourself. You hate trouble, and being pushed around by others. You prefer suggestions to demands, and can't understand cruel people. You don't get mad easily, but when... you do, people better watch out! Red souls irritate you. You open up easily to blue souls. Yellow souls interest you, but are unlikely to notice you. You'll get along well with other white souls.

My comment: That's true about me! I need peace more than everything. Moreover, another thing i am really agree with is I OPEN EASILY TO BLUE SOULS. Yes, blue soul is my dearest friend, Julia Chong. She is my good listener. I love to share my thoughts with her.

The Principle of Studying

Studying=Student+Dying
So, when the exam is just around the corner, all of the students realise that it is going to be the end of their lives too.
Suffering from stress and tension, just like they are going to die soon.
Having a bottle of Nescafe or Teh BOH which contain caffeine, to help them to stay awake.
Burning the midnight oil.
Study at the eleventh hour.

Exercises, Text books, Models Exam Papers and piles of modules.
The students are going to be buried by the papers.
The trees are going to be completely cut down soon.
Ask themselves, is this useful? Or beneficial?

Stupid and foolish concept of studying.

On the whole, students nowadays study for exam.
But exam is a wicked and cunning killer.
Many of them "die" just because of it.
It is awful, horrifying, and scare them out of their wits.

Paramore

I am addicted to the American rock band, Paramore right now.
It consists of lead vocalist, Hayley Williams, lead guitarist Josh Faroo, bassist Jeremy Davis, drummer Jack Farro and rhythm vocalist Taylor York.
The band isn't just a short pop-punk girl with red hair and a spunky attitude. Their music is like them, it's aged differently. It's sped up, and slowed down. They enable me to beat along with their melody.

This is the the list of songs that i simply adore:

• Decode
• That's What You Get
• The Only Exeption
• I Caught Myself
• Brick Boring By Brick
• Airplanes (Hayley Williams of Paramore featuring B.O.B)
  

Kem Akademi 2010

I am sure you can't find any information regarding the "Kem Akademi" in the website.I don't know why. I try to google it but to no avail.

Now, i would like to express my feelings about the camp in words. It was organised by The Ministry of Education of Terengganu (JPNT) and luckily, i was chosen to attend it for twice. Yeah, TWICE. Many students envied of me just because i am THE ONLY AND THE ONE who had the opportunity to join the programme for two times. I was proud of myself too! The first one was named as "Kem Akademi Elit Siri 5" whereas the second one was named as "Kem Akademi Star". Two different names but in fact, they were almost the same. We went there to study, strive hard to get straight A's in our PMR examination. I can still remember that the teacher in-charge always repeated the same sentence: All of you are selected students, so you must take heed of your behavior and discipline. EVERYDAY, no exception, she mentioned the similar thing.

************************************************************************
Before PMR Trial Exam.
Date: 1 August 2010—4 August 2010
Venue: Sumai Hotel Kuala Terengganu.
Programme: Kem Akademi Elit Siri 5

Initially, when i received the letter from Sir Aziz and was informed by him that i was chosen to attend the camp, i was on top of the world! I thought i was going for a real camping. What i meant was the camping that offered a lot of interesting outdoor activities and i could spend my night in the tent. Plus i was the only Chinese student who can go there! It supposed to be a red-letter day for me, right? However, it did not. There were no any activities such as FLYING FOX, JUNGLE TREKKING OR ROCK CLIMBING. We went there to study, do a lot of exercises, and get back a pile of modules. I felt down and i was really very depressed. We had to spent five hours for revising each subject. We stayed in the air-conditional room everyday. What made the condition worse was i didn't bring any blanket to the hotel! It was biting cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey! How i wished i could return home like a shooting star! If you were in my shoes, you would feel that how sucks the camp was. Lastly, i didn't even know any new friends. Since then, i told myself, I WILL NOT ATTEND SUCH CAMP AGAIN!

Wan Nur, Aisyah and Qurattu

************************************************************************
After PMR Trial Exam.
Date: 20 September 2010—23 September 2010
Venue: Hotel Seri Malaysia, Marang.
Programme: Kem Akademi Star

Nevertheless, my dream was spoiled. That day, i just finished taking my Chinese lesson. When i went back to my class, i saw some pieces paper on my table. Then, i was flabbergasted! I was informed to go to the camp again! OH MY GOD. My feeling was totally antonymous with before. I didn't intend to go there and i didn't prepare anything for it yet. No matter how, i still had to attend it, despite my unwillingness.

Sometimes, i believe that there is an existence of miracles.

Out of the blue, it was indeed a fun-filled and an eye-opening experience. Although the food of the hotel was not really very delicious, the participants were nice and hospitable. I had befriended a lot of people and every moment we spent together was full of joy and laughter. We could mingle well with each other, free from judgment and assumption. This was the best part of the camp. Another thing was i was able to broaden my horizon and gain lots of knowledge that i could never get in the school. Moreover, i also managed to see many geniuses from the other school who were more outstanding and talented than me. The most importance was their English was excellent, especially Mimie. I admired her so much as she could speak English very fluently. I hope i can be like her too!

The memorable one:

• I formed a bond with a group of girls who were Jasmin Tan, Joycelyn Hai, Chia Zhu Ying and Tan Geok Eng.
• I spent three nights with my roommates who were Mimie Amelia, Jasmin Tan, Nini Nagyha and Jah.

That's all about the camp!
Guys, i will not forget you and will miss you all the time!
I will always remember all the sweet, exhilarating memories that we had gathered there.

陌生

昨日写了一封信，今日则要说出自己对自己的班的真实感觉。
和他们相处了一段时间，对彼此理所当然的已经建立了一定的友情。
但，老实说，我仍对这个班感到有点儿陌生。
该如何形容呢？除了陌生，还是陌生。
每次和他们谈天不到几句，场面就变得尴尬了起来。然后，周围便安静得连我们的呼吸声都听得见。空气仿佛凝结了。让人窒息。我们都清楚知道，我们没话聊了。
我们之间的感情要说很好却并非如此。
我们很少拍照留恋，我们很少在外开班级派对，我们也没有属于我们自己的班级T衬衫。
我们共同的美好回忆的确比别人少，可谓屈指可数。
不过，我们一同经历了不少的风风雨雨，那一切的一切早已至深的烙印在我的脑海里，令我没齿难忘。虽然不曾说出口，但偶尔也会不经意的回想起这些往事。

自从升上中学以后，我变得胆怯起来了。
我不再像在呼呼赫赫就呼呼赫赫，像大喊就大喊。我只能够说，以前的课室犹如宫殿，而我就是班上的皇后。可现在，皇后被贬为庶民，落入凡间当平民庸俗了。
我也不晓得为什么。
当有事情要宣布给全班的同学听的时候，多次我都是一笔代口。我宁可把所要传达的讯息些在白板上也都不肯说出口来。我每次都告诉我自己，我必须鼓起多点儿勇气，他们是我的朋友，又不会把我给吃掉，我又何必畏惧他们呢？可是，每当话来到嘴边的时候，却又不知怎么的，我又把它们给吞入肚里了。
懊恼，真的很懊恼。
我只能以会心的微笑面对。
我知道，我必须克服这个心理障碍。
说话，只是站在同学面前说话而已，又不是作些见不得人的事情。
我要学会，站出来，说话，发表自己的意见。

*以微笑面对眼前的一切挑战。=)

3 Ibnu Amir (2010)

Dearest my classmates in 3A:

I can still remember the day i first stepped into the secondary school, SMKTM. All were new faces. All were looking at me, because i am one of the rare chinese girls in the whole Form One. I didn't know all of you, and of course you didn't know me. Because of i used to be in a chinese primary school before, so i couldn't actually adapt myself in the new environment in a such short period of time. It took time, yes i knew that.

Frankly to say, at that time i judged everybody by just simply looked at your faces. And my first impression towards everybody was almost the same --BAD+EGO. Yet i realised that i was wrong! Unexpectedly everybody was kind to me and accepted me as your friend. I was very regret for what i had done to you, friends. Now, i would like to apologise sincerely to you guys. SORRY. Please forgive my naivete and my mistrust.

After studying together for 3 years, i can conclude that i feel happy to be with all of you. Similar with Anis wrote in her blog, "I LOVE YOU GUYS." Really. Although the teachers always grouch about us, in fact, in deep in our heart we know that we are not arrogant. Sometime we are scared whereas sometime we are confident. However our self-confidence or even humbleness usually will be seen as arrogance. WE ARE ACTUALLY HIDING THE REAL OURSELVES. Only we know. And we need encouragements as well as supports from our peers in the same class. We have done that.

We study together, we share our thoughts together, we experience ups and downs together. Getting along with each other for years, i can feel a real sense of kinship with all of you. But now this is the time for us to be parted. This must be a poignant and disheartening moment to us. I am dejected.

• Michelle and Vivian, my close friends.
  
• Pieka, i will always remember you, for sitting beside me for a year. =)
  
• Shezat and Ain, i will remember that we had written the short story, Glorystara together.
• Anis and Wan Nur, who are superb and excellent in English and dancing.
• Dyan, Aisyah and Qurattu, a beautiful and talkative trio in 3A.
• Nadia, Liyana and Fathira, a quiet trio in 3A.
• Najiah, Fatin and Aimi, another trio in 3A.
• Ainun, the most quiet girl in 3A.
  
• Farhana, who can speak very loud, well and full of confidence.
• Muaz, the most sleepiest guy in our class.
  
• Iman, the smartest and mostly-girl-sought guy in our class.
• Azim, the biggest guy in our class.
• Asyraf, the darkest and slimmest guy in our class.
• Faisal and Afiq, a pair of good buddy.
• Hanif, the most hardworking boy in our class.
  

I hope that our friendship will last until we die. Perpetually.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus (also attributed to Maimonidies).

Yours sincerely,
Lee Lynn

PMR结束+开始

2010年的初中评估考试结束了。
真的结束了。
有点难以自信的感觉。
学习了三年，准备了三年，等的就是这一天。

5/10/2010——起跑点。
12/10/2010——终点站。

三年以来所学的知识全都可以在五天内结束？
开始觉得我在荒废时间。
从100天倒数至仅剩1天的时候，我开始紧张。
小学踏入考场的感觉全都忘得一干二净了。
那时候的我既期待，又畏惧。
令人期待的事即将踏入战场；令人畏惧的则是深怕自己做不好。

我要记下来考试的时候起身温书的时间。
5/10——5.00a.m
6/10——5.15a.m
7/10——4.40a.m
11/10——6.00a.m
12/10——6.00a.m
现在回想起来，那些数目字有点儿可怕。
我从未这么早起身过。
由此可见，考试这个理由足以迫使一个学生从美梦中惊醒，然后继续读书，读书，再读书。

PMR结束了以后，是意味着轻松的开始吗？
并不。它象征着接蹱而来的压力，的开始。
我的未来正要开始。
依稀记得罗老师曾经在我的考卷写过：每个人与生俱来皆是平平无奇。要靠自己的双手努力奋斗，生命才会变得色彩斑斓。
我要我的未来有一片湛蓝的天空，有几片云朵浮在那里，鸟儿在翱翔。
突然有种想拥抱明天的来袭之感。
我定下目标：中五的SPM我要考获10A。
请看清楚，这不是有野心，这是目标。
我在勾勒我未来的人生蓝图。


我张开双手，暂时让紧握在手中的时间溜走，享受休息的片刻。

*我要记得，适当的休息是为了走更长远的路。
*我要记得，考试并不可怕。

2010年10月10日

2010年10月10日。百年一日。
很多人都让自己的故事在这一天画下完美的句点，好让自己以后回想起来，2010年的这一天都没有被荒废掉。它将会显得更有意义。

这一天在我入眠的时候匆匆流逝。
我既醒了又睡，睡了又醒，醒了又睡。
整个人昏沉沉的，竟不知道时间以迅雷不及掩耳的速度从我身上溜走了。
一点，两点，三点，四点......
我不停的点算着。
就这样，一天又过去了。
我感叹，时间的飞流而逝。

若有人问？世界上什么东西最勤劳？
我会回答说：“时间。”
因为，
当我们放慢脚步，试图让自己松懈时，它仍继续往前走。
它从不会受到表面的利诱蛊惑而停滞不前。
它从不回头看，只会继续往前走。

时间，让人又爱又恨。